Dear Diary,
What if everything I do is lame? What if nobody comes around anymore? Why does everybody look at me so funny?
You know I've asked these questions of you before, but tonight at the dinner table I got the feeling I should just leave. Should I tell anyone of these thoughts? Maybe someday, diary.
What if I really am just like they say? Paranoid? Crazy?
You know, diary, I brought it up again tonight, that old weather talk... it's just playing a part, staking a claim. Wow, that really is lame, huh, diary!
What if the only game you play is your life? All clues to the sun! Words for my own code.
Oh! I just remembered! Do you know what Nicole said? She said: I should be a cult leader! Isn't that exciting! A cult leader!
You know that Will Sheff? Yeah... well dont tell anyone, but he is my favorite singer!
And maybe I don't know what I'm doing anymore, but that could be how I do things now! I've been thinking about this upcoming review and how I am going staple my plastic picture series and tell stories about how the world ended in 1968 in the middle of a Godard film and then proceed to not really care about my work at all. I'm wrapping it in baggies now. Like little crack viles!
What do you think diary?
I'm building a body, working up to the working out of my shell, getting ready to take on the real world.
Have I told you about the 3s and the 1s? Or the fact that I was supposed to be a world-class mathematician before I started dosing?
Thanks, diary, for listening,
johnETsunami
What if everything I do is lame? What if nobody comes around anymore? Why does everybody look at me so funny?
You know I've asked these questions of you before, but tonight at the dinner table I got the feeling I should just leave. Should I tell anyone of these thoughts? Maybe someday, diary.
What if I really am just like they say? Paranoid? Crazy?
You know, diary, I brought it up again tonight, that old weather talk... it's just playing a part, staking a claim. Wow, that really is lame, huh, diary!
What if the only game you play is your life? All clues to the sun! Words for my own code.
Oh! I just remembered! Do you know what Nicole said? She said: I should be a cult leader! Isn't that exciting! A cult leader!
You know that Will Sheff? Yeah... well dont tell anyone, but he is my favorite singer!
And maybe I don't know what I'm doing anymore, but that could be how I do things now! I've been thinking about this upcoming review and how I am going staple my plastic picture series and tell stories about how the world ended in 1968 in the middle of a Godard film and then proceed to not really care about my work at all. I'm wrapping it in baggies now. Like little crack viles!
What do you think diary?
I'm building a body, working up to the working out of my shell, getting ready to take on the real world.
Have I told you about the 3s and the 1s? Or the fact that I was supposed to be a world-class mathematician before I started dosing?
Thanks, diary, for listening,
johnETsunami
posted by John E at
8:44:00 PM
1 Comments:
but I was thinking this whole thing about talking about doing drugs, doesn't that get old? Why do you persist in inserting that shit into conversations? I know you've told me the consciousness bullshit about splitting and bubbling but I think your manner is taken as sloppy. You shouldn't throw those things out there just to spice up your stories or assert some psychedelic guru bs.
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